i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
