He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jerry, you need to find god
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
