are you still at the devil's house?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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