Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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