I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize