So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
