Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
