We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Girls should come with a carfax report
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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