Are we in a gay sports bar?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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