I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
