you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize