I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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