maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
