Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i dont even know how to be here
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
