Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
