Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
