dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
