After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
