So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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