you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
These tits shall not be calmed
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
