I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
