i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
