And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
