She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
