he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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