There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
