You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
