Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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