He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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