he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
