I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
