I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
