can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
