I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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