Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
