I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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