If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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