So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Drake has all the answers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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