love makes seman taste better
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
