It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
