Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
