Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
