New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
