Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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