Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
