yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
