we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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