i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
