He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
