and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize