I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
