Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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