Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
