Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
