We're like a lot better than the average bears
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
