the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
