just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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