Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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