just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
